Walking Away

Many dream of playing sport at the highest level, but few achieve those dreams. Many dream of being paid to play the sport they love and having people pay to watch them play, but once again the statistics of achieving that goal are very low in comparison to the number of people playing sport.

In the past 20-30 years we have seen the emphasis shift dramatically. Sporting associations who are responsible for all facets of the sport have shifted their focus onto the 2-3% of players that play at the elite level, or represent their nation internationally. The argument is that it is the national team that generates the revenue to support the majority. The national team is the focus and that stimulates interest and media coverage; yet the media today is only interested in selling subscriptions online, or attracting advertisers based on the number of fans. Some only want to access the sports database. How many send journalists to actually cover matches today? Traditional media is not interested in stories, just sales; failing to realise that good journalism results in sales.

If the arguments that the elite are funding sport are true surely we would see junior sport being subsidised. We would not see parents shelling out thousands of dollars a season for their children to play sport. We would not see run of the mill club players fees being increased to help cover expenses for national teams. No sport can survive in the long term if the bottom of the pyramid is funding the top. It has to be the other way around; the way we are told it actually is.

Unfortunately the impact of the bottom supporting the top is now being felt. No longer are the best players being selected for junior sides, but those whose parents can afford for them to play, or those whose parents could be a potential sponsor if their child is selected. Just as we are seeing so many areas in the world today no longer are people selected on merit. Many are there because they tick a box, they are representative of a section of the community and are there because of that, and not because of their ability or talent.

I was fortunate to sit down in the past six weeks and talk to a friend’s 19 year old child. I have asked if I can share their story, they said that I could as long as their identity remained anonymous.

This child played a number of sports at school and in their spare time growing up. Around the age of twelve they showed a certain prowess for one sport in particular, and were encouraged to focus on that sport over the others.

First up surely that is too young to be asking a child to focus on one sport? Surely it is better to let them gravitate to the one that they enjoy and want to play? (Podcast 76)

Their parents still encouraged them to play all the sport they wanted, and they did.

Not long after being told to focus on the sport they showed a greater talent for, – as they were good at most, – they were selected for a representative team at under 13’s. Is this again too young to have representative sides?

This was clearly when the seed was planted that this child may well be one of the ‘chosen few’ to make it to the top.

While we have read of those who are singled out as being talented then being placed into squads alongside equally talented players, who all receive the best coaching, this is not always the case. The theory is often very different to what actually happens. Some of the reasons for this today is we have moved away from awarding such positions to the best. Too many other factors are taken into consideration. In many cases all of these junior representative teams give parents a false impression of their child’s ability, which in turn leads to false expectations.

In a perfect scenario, these children receive superior coaching, so having already been identified as being better than their counterparts they should now stretch even further ahead of them. They then standout from the rest and have more chance of becoming an elite athlete than their contemporaries.

My friend’s child, progressed as a player, always being in the top side, and always being selected for under age representative squads. This in turn meant extra training sessions. Were they outstanding? No. By their own admission they were never one of the best players, they were never outstanding. Their biggest assets they said were their “fitness and a good technique.”

Around the age of 15 or 16 the parents of many of their team mates started investing in one-on-one training.

According to my friend’s child this was encouraged by their coaches. There was always the line “if you want to make it you are going to have to put in extra work and have extra coaching.” This extra training was on top of their school and club training and occasional representative training. I was told that the coach would then suggest who the parents should contact for this extra coaching; often it was someone connected with the team’s coach.

Now more mature and more aware my friend’s child told me that never did the coach identify an area of the player’s game that they needed to work on. They were simply told that they needed extra coaching.

From the age of 12 up to and beyond the age of 17 these children were told that they ‘could make it professionally.’ They, and their parents were sold a dream. Albeit a very loose dream for hundreds of children ‘could’ make it; the truth is few do. One statistic out of the UK involving football confirms this, only 180 out of 1.5 million boys playing organised youth football in England will become a Premier League player. So the chances for a young player outside of England to achieve that is even lower.

It appeared according to my friend’s child that the various coaches on that journey told many of the children and the parents what they wanted to hear, fed their egos. As a result the parents trusted and believed the coach.

As they approached the age of 17 not only did my friend’s child say they realised that they were never ever going to reach that level, but they were rapidly losing interest in a game they had loved when they were younger and wanted to play whenever the opportunity arose.

When asked why they thought this was, they showed an awareness that surprised, in fact shocked me. “I realised that the coaches were full of bullshit,” was the frank and honest response. They then expanded on this comment, explaining that the coaches were “playing at being coaches.”

“I realised that a coach is supposed to be a teacher, someone who educates and makes you understand something better. Then thanks to understanding why you do something, you become a better player. No one was doing that,” they said. “Some training sessions we would stand around for 20 minutes listening to the coach talk about various situations, when all we wanted to do was play. Surely they could have explained some of these issues in the context of a game or a training drill?”

There was a great deal of frustration and passion that came through when discussing this. The overall feeling was that none of this helped any of the individual players become better. Although undoubtedly some would have benefitted.

They also observed that in the five years from being selected into their first representative team few new faces were brought into that core group of players. Players in form were passed over and players that they all felt were worthy of a place did not get a look in. These players non-selection was continually dismissed with the same explanations, “too slow, bad apple, not a team player, doesn’t have that X factor.” My friend’s child laughed at this and said that they had never had “the X factor,” so why were they always picked? They were also acutely aware how such labels being given to a young player can kill their chances overnight. As once they are given such a label it is hard to shake it off.

Now aged 19 this young adult has walked away from the sport completely. They no longer play it, and say they have no desire to ever play again. They even rarely watch it live or on television. ” I have absolutely no interest in it. Any love I had for the game has been killed.”

How and Why?

“I realised that there was no honesty it was all a lie. I don’t believe that any of us were good enough to become professional or even play at an elite level. Yet we were fed this story for five or six years, why? So that the coaches could keep their jobs,” they said. “Several players went for trials at the next level but found out that they were not in the same class. Was that because the coaching wasn’t good enough or was it because they were never that good in the first place? I think it was both. I think it was because the representative squads were not refreshed with new players, i think it suited everyone’s personal needs to keep the dream alive.”

The more we talked it became clear that what should have been a fun time in their teenage years full of great memories had in fact been the opposite. The enjoyment and the fun had been sucked out of them. “Maybe I just wasn’t cut out for it” was their honest assessment. ” I don’t think I was ever good enough to go to the next level, I am not sure I wanted to. Yes, I wanted to play in the top teams and see how good I was but once I experienced first hand what this may look like I realised I definitely did not want to be a part of it.”

“I hate the game now. I feel I wasted so much time standing around doing nothing. So much time not enjoying playing. I would give anything to find the enjoyment I had when I was twelve and played with my mates.”

It was an incredibly sad discussion. It was clear that the experience had left deep scars. Clearly something is wrong if a talented player no longer wants to play or even watch a sport they were good at. Yet if they derive no enjoyment from the sport anymore, it is totally understandable.

I had seen this child progress from a distance. There was no doubt that they had ability, and as they said they were never outstanding, but they did what they had to do well. There was a time when I would visit and they would happily talk about the sport. Now this conversation was prompted by their dad, who said I should hear it for myself.

I was deeply saddened that at 19 they no longer wanted to play at all, even for fun. I wondered how many other children feel the same way? How many are being fed the vision of a dream that is never going to eventuate. Something is clearly wrong with the system in many sports. The emphasis is wrong, and ultimately detrimental; especially when almost every sport is saying that they are looking to grow participation numbers.

This story is proof that they very system that is supposed to be growing the sport is in fact seeing the talent pool and people playing diminish. Yet how many will take heed of this and make the necessary changes?

This tale should be a lesson for all, but will no doubt be dismissed as a one-off. The Government will still hand out money for development, without even bothering to look at the programs in place and the impact they are having in the long term, let alone if they are successful.

This child’s parents never pushed them to try and make a living from the sport, far from it. All they did was encourage them to be the best that they could be. This was not the situation that is so common whereby a parent is living their dream through their child.

At the end of the day a very very small percentage of players will make it to play at the highest level. Something that everyone should be reminded of. Some talented individuals may never even get that opportunity, some may not want to play at that level. They do not want a sport they love to become a job.

Sometimes, and this has been lost in recent times sports lovers gain satisfaction from simply having been to school with, or played juniors alongside someone who does go on and achieve all the things that they dreamt about when they were young. That in itself is magical, and it is important that these feelings are still felt amongst fans as they keep people engaged. One wonders if creating these elite pathways and pulling players out of youth teams and having the cream play together is in fact killing that? This tale would tend to indicate that it is. Which is extremely sad for all concerned and the sports themselves.